Narc Abuse and CPTSD Recovery Starter Kit
In going through some of the reads from the year, I wanted to share some of the most impactful ones.
Why Does He That? by Lundy Bancroft - I will write a separate post on this. But this book changed my life and made me cry a lot. Looking at myself in the past couple of years, that's the only question I was really asking. Why does he do that? Anyone who's been through emotionally abusive relationships, will often ask this of themselves. “The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as obvious. In fact, even among women who have experienced violence from a partner, half or more report that the man’s emotional abuse is what is causing them the greatest harm.” This is probably one of the most validating things I've ever read.
Power of Regret by Daniel H.Pink - currently in the middle of it, but an important and good read.
The Covert Passisve Aggressive Narcissist - I think books like this and even Why Does He Do That? should be read in moderation. This explains a lot of my former partner's behaviors and the situation I found myself in. But a lot of people , myself included, can be stuck in this blackhole where we have begun to recognize narcissistic patterns of behavior in our partners and then get addicted to learning more, trying to understand what happened. There is a point where all the knowledge will be useful, but will no longer be helpful for your healing and growth. So spend time here in this investigative space, but know when to move from here.
Walden by Henry David Thoreau - This is a re-read for me. I read it a few years ago on my solo roadtrip on a beach in Michigan. But I reach it for whenever I'm in these periods of isolation and reflection.
Complex PTSD Workbook - is a good workbook that helps you to work through your CPTSD in an empathetic and slow fashion. I appreciate this book a lot.
How to Love by Thich Nhat Hanh - A beautiful little re-read for me. Thich Nhat Hanh was one of my favorite spiritual leaders and philosophers. Lots of lovely reflections on love , real love, good love.
The Body Keeps Score - Quite another re-read for me and ironically a favorite of the last few guys I've dated, including the one who traumatized me. But hey, a good book is a good book. But if you're looking to understand the way that trauma reworks your brain and roots itself in your body, this is the book for you. It can be a rough read and warning, it may be re-triggering. But it is extremely informative.
UnFuck Your Intimacy by Faith G. Harper- If you have intimacy issues or even have experienced sexual trauma, this tongue- and -cheek guide may be for you. Dr. Faith dives into the deep and dirty around intimacy and sex, covering topics such as kink, consent, shame, and trauma recovery. She includes tons of exercises to help you understand and strengthen your relationship with your sexuality.
Little Book of Zen - A happy little collection of philosophical poems, tiny stories, and other snippets of wisdom. Open a page and enjoy.
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