May December -Aesthetics of Victimhood, Accountability, Exploitation in Predatory Relationships

There has to be a word invented to describe the sensation of deep discomfort, mild seductiveness, and subtle subterfuge that's tonally central in this film. It's kind of horny in a way that is deeply troubling and completely inappropriate way. And with this descriptor, May December and Saltburn will take the cake this year for movies that deeply disturbed me. But despite the emotional turmoil this film personally caused me, the dialogue is hard-hitting and impactful. And it's themes are clear and well-executed , supported by the incredible performances from the three leads , Natalie Portman as Elizabeth Berry, Julianne Moore as Gracie , and Charles Melton as Joe.

The film follows the three leads Elizabeth, Gracie and Joe, twenty years after the news of Joe and Gracie's torrid and highly controversial relationships became national headlines. When Hollywood actress Elizabeth Berry comes to spend time with the family to better understand Gracie, who she will be playing in a upcoming film, pressure starts to disrupt the seemingly put together family and expose unexamined wounds. As Joe has clearly never processed the trauma from the relationship, Elizabeth's questioning pushes him to reexamine himself and the power dynamic that exists between him and Gracie, unsettling the picturesque life they've created in their beachside Maine town.

One of the key things things the film has us question is the nature of predatory behavior both in art, in its voyeurism of trauma for artistic purposes, and predatory behavior in human relationships. The film causes us to grapple with the morality behind surveying other people's pain, exploring their trauma for entertainment or other selfish purposes. And it causes us to reckon with the power dynamics that undermine the equity that should be inherent in relationships between "adults". Throughout the film, as she recounts her experiences to Elizabeth, reveals to us one image of predatory behavior. Gracie, through a facetiously naive and subtly sinister demeanor continues to "sell" us this story of a woman who simply fell in love with a younger "man". It may have been controversial, but it is simply unconventional, not insidious. But it is clear from the age gap between them when they first met, and the even larger gap in power and maturity, that she is in fact a predator. While trying to pass herself off as innocent, Gracie has done a severe amount of damage to those around her. In her pursuit of Joe, she destroys her own family and most importantly the life of a young boy . But in order to deflect from that reality, she works extremely hard to convince the audience, to convince Elizabeth, and even herself that both her and Joe were equally responsible and powerful in the relationship they fashioned together. She continually tries to create a delusion of equity between them.

Gracie , in one scene, tires to explain to Elizabeth that Joe had been with other "women" before her, almost as if to project onto him a sense of maturity and development that he simply could not have possessed at age 13. In other fantasy-based diatribe, Gracie lauds about the beauty of the letters Joe has written her almost as they were Shakespearean sonnets. Upon hearing the content of the letters, we come to find out that they are no more sophisticated than one would expect from a young boy. In the scene where Joe confronts Gracie in their bedroom, when he challenges her to think about the prospect of whether or not he was really able to properly consent to their relationship. It is a powerful and painful scene to watch. Joe is so grounded and emotional having finally been able to express himself and question the unresolved trauma that the relationship between them has spurred. But Gracie, unable to face the reality of her predatory behavior and Joe's trauma must avoid it by deflecting accountability.

She must escalate the delusion in order to respond to the escalated threat of an enlightened Joe. She responds by trying to convince him that not only did they have equal power, but convince him that he had more. She responds saying "Who had the power. Who was in charge?" Now that Joe has joined the chorus of people dissenting her behavior, she must try to convince him that he was the one in power, reversing the role of predator and prey in order to avoid the truth. It is a classic narcissistic tendency referred to as DARVO, deny attack and reverse victim and offender. Despite being the clear offender, she must reverse the roles of responsibilities, in order to see herself as anything but the perpetrator of harm, going so far at to insinuate that a 13 year old boy of color would have anywhere near the power of white woman in her mid-30s. Her predation lies heavily on manipulation, trying to garner sympathy where it is undeserved and working to create a phycological illusion of equity. But the illusion is shattered easily even in the optical reality of their staggering age gap and in Joe's complete lack of emotional maturity and power in this relationship.

In her engagement with the Yu family , we see Elizabeth also transform or emerge as a predator of sorts, embodying the predatory nature of media. She slowly pokes and prods at the Yu's innermost feelings in order to get the material she needs to fuel her performance. And she does so with little care or responsibility to the people who's wounds she has exposed for her own selfish gain. What is perhaps most disturbing about Elizabeth is throughout the film, we are watching her be seduced and enthralled by the taboo nature of the story she is watching unfold before her. She embodies this kind of predatory gaze as she fixates on both Gracie and Joe as her prey, ready to devour them by consuming their trauma as fuel for her performance. As part of this consumption, she begins to mimic and physically embody Gracie. Elizabeth starts dressing and appearing like Gracie. While it appears to be a light form of method acting, beneath the surface perhaps it allows her to indulge with the powerful and predatory nature within herself without a sense of shame, something both her and Gracie seem to have little of. When Elizabeth begins to build a bond with Joe, she does so in that way serves as both a counter to, but also as a direct reflection of Grace. On the surface, she appears as a healthy age-appropriate for Joe to engage with an equitable and honest way. Yet underneath, it seems to be another mechanism in which a woman with more power, this time emotionally is able to once again take advantage of Joe.

When Elizabeth sleeps with Joe, it becomes clear that this is not just an act of mutual attraction between adults, it is her first real performance as Gracie. While there is a case to say that she could be attracted to Joe, on a more sinister level, I think Elizabeth is aware that she is in a way still having sex with a 13 year-old boy. As she's observed him and gotten to know him , to her it is clear that Joe is clearly trapped in the mindset of the 13 year-old boy that was preyed upon by Gracie. It is evident in his characterization, in his speech patterns, even in the power dynamic between him and his children. When his son leaves for college, we see Joe showcasing an uncharacteristic level of emotional expression, having been quite reserved throughout most of the film. In this scene, Joe is emotional as he's not only mourning the departure of his son, but also mourning the bright future that he was robbed of at his son's age. His son cradles him , almost like a parent would cradle their own child, as Joe struggles to reckon with the conflicting feelings within himself and his inability to process them due to his traumatized state. It is a heart-shattering and painful performance delivered by Charles Melton, that makes it undeniably clear that Joe is very much a scared 13 year old boy. And knowing this, Elizabeth still chooses to engage with him sexually, which makes her no better than Gracie.

Elizabeth as the predator she also is, albeit for her own artistic pursuit, also takes advantage of Joe. And In a way both her and Gracie get to cloak their predatory behavior with a sense of innocence and harmlessness.

It is rare we get a film with two white women as the villains, but May December delivers them both on a a deceptively silver platter. On first blush, we would never think these women to predators, partially due to their womanhood, and also due to their whiteness. There is an adultification that happens often to young black people, or other people of color where they are perceived as less innocent and childlike than their white peers. This, as we've seen through state sanctioned racialized violence, can have dangerous and even fatal consequences for young people of color. Think Hilary Clinton and superpredators. The adultification combined with the conventional image of victim and offender, would have you believe that the young boy of color, is perhaps a big scary man who is more likely, aesthetically, to look like the perpetrator of harm. Yet, in May December it is the older more established and mature white women. And that subversion of expectation is particularly well-done and hard-hitting as the director succeeds in subverting our expectation twice, once through Gracie and then through Elizabeth. Now it is scary to wonder how this is not picked up on by the people around them, the director offers us a commentary on whiteness and accountability.

We seem to assume that the white person is the victim - see Emmet Till, central Park Karen, and various examples of white, particularly white woman, victimhood. This is a societal issue that obscures us from being able to empathize with or recognize people of color as victims. We equate whiteness to innocence. The same in some ways goes for males, albeit for other reasons. Due to thousands of years of patriarchy and a long history of emotional, sexual and physical violence against women, we are still shocked to see males as victims. And both of these things works against Joe's favor and much to the favor and privilege of Gracie and Elizabeth. While, the nature of this situation is a source of pain and discomfort for the people around Gracie, she is still able to use her privilege to secure some sense of social acceptance currently. Because Joe is a boy of color, and now older, the people around Gracie will be less likely to see him for the victim that he is and Gracie for the perpetrator that she is. Gracie weaponizes this, playing on a feigned sense of innocence to secure herself and protect herself from accountability. Again, the delusion of equity she disseminates, makes it hard for her to be held fully accountable. Her friends and even her kids to some extent, all play into it reinforcing her delusion. And thus, she's goes unchecked in her harmfulness because she is not held fully accountable by the people around her, and certainly by herself. In her own white womanhood, she's used to seeing herself as the victim and can rather identify herself as the victim of controversy and unfair judgment, rathe than take accountability for victimizing Joe. In many ways, it's indicative what Robin D'Angelo coined as white fragility again going above and beyond in her defensiveness when challenged on the immorality of her behavior.

Overall, it is Joe who suffers the most in this film. Charles Melton's deeply earnest and emotionally heavy performance carries that point home. He's been taken advantage not once but twice, by people who do not carry the obvious aesthetic of an offender. They weaponize their privilege, allowing others to buy into the delusion that they are innocent, and powerless. But, regardless of how the world sees these women, or even him, he himself can begin to say that he is a victim, and that acknowledgement may be the first step for him to begin begin to tackle what seems like the irreparable harm done to him.