Diggin Deep - A Comedy Show About My Love Life, The Lost Year Essays & Audio Projects

What a worldwind few months, between going back to improv, taking an acting class, doing company volleyball, taking a podcasting class, a songwriting class with Adrienne Lenker, I've been everything, everywhere, all at once. I'd lost so much time last year, mainly in doctor's offices trying to figure out my body through bouts of illnesses, aches, autoimmune issues, a cardiac event after concert in July, and even a cancer scare (moreso me being scared, but no cancer ). It's fucking weird how much havoc traumas can wreak in your body. So when I got my CT scan results in early January, the relief that came through pushed within me an urgency to take time back. And so, as the new year rolled in, I told myself, if your body is working, you just gotta do things.

As I still try to figure out how to navigate in this body and chronic pain, I'm diving deeply into things I love and a few creative projects that I'll share here.

For the Plot : Misadventures of the Black Lover Girl - I've been working on this solo comedy show centered around my love life, which includes more than just romantic love. The show largely centers on some gnarly experiences with men that made life look a little less like When Harry Met Sally and more like The Shining. I figured there's some stories that may inspire laughter, perhaps tears, largely my own, and some understanding of the difficulties navigating the world as a black girl and how shit men make it worse. It's partially inspired by this solo show I saw a last year called Angry, Crazy, and Black by Sydney Duncan where she breaks down the various parts of the Angry Black Woman stereotype. And at the end, reveals the pain that fuels the different categories of anger. Her vulnerability inspired mine, so stay tuned. FtP - coming to an improv/solo comedy festival near you.

The Lost Year Essays - Because of the things that had ensued during most of 2022, I spent 2023 trying to make sense of it all, the dishonesty, cruelty, the real life capital T, trauma, sexually and otherwise. In that time, I'd found myself and glimpses of my experiences in so many places. I found them in movies and books, in feminist novels, and support groups, in Lundy Bancroft's - Why Does He Do That ?, Killers of the Flower Moon, in bell hooks' Ain't I A Woman, in White Tears, Black Scars ,How White Women Betray Women of Color in Feminism, Dr. Ramani videos, in a re-reading of White Fragility, in the Daily Stoic newsletters, in my old C.S Lewis books, even in the Palestinian genocide. My brain has been everywhere. And so I've set out to put it on pages.

There've been many musings, many on morality, virtue, justice, character, things that I've always reflected on. But in this time, I've also added many reflections on my lived experiences as a black woman. Up until that year, I'd never thought harder about as intensely what it meant to be a woman and particularly a black woman as so much of my experience has been heavily predicted by the latter. But when a white man tells you and shows you that you have no power, it pushes you to think deeply about what exactly that means personally and societally. In some ways, it's enlightening to understand how common your experiences are. In other ways, it's deeply painful to see how little has changed.

And so starting next week (T/F), some of these reflections will come as 10 or so biweekly essays, some of which are likely to be sensitive, raw, and incredibly detailed as per my style. Stay tuned.

The Lost Year Audio - This audio project came out of many conversations from the past year I wanted to re-record them , tell some tiny stories, blasting Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales in the car with my best friend, talking to friends and family about the bad stuff, CPTSD, love, bell hooks, and God - funny painful, honest ones that are ongoing, ones about wanting things to end.

PTSD can make memories an enemy. Memories trap themselves in your body, memories start to lose themselves in your mind. But I hope through these projects, maybe these memories can be art. Maybe they can be enlightenment, maybe they can be freedom. For any person dealing with trauma, sexual, emotional, or otherwise, for anyone who's been in an abusive relationship with a narcissistic person or a bad guy, or for anyone who is still grappling with things that don't make sense, I see you. And I hope this helps you too.

Thanks for

Keeping Tabs