Copenhagen - (Coping Again?)
Hej (sounds like hi),
In typical fashion, instead of finishing and editing all my Lost Year essays (I'm testing out the idea of proofreading and editing), I f'ed off to Denmark and the Netherlands to soak up the undeniable ease and comfort of Scandinavian life. While I did the Netherlands trip with an old friend, Denmark was a long-awaited solo journey (and my 5th official solo trip).
When I moved into my apartment, I became obsessed with making the blindingly white and sterile-feeling apartment feel like an actual home. No matter how many vanilla/maple/brown sugar scented candles I used, I couldn't make it feel homie - which brought me to the concept of hygge and 'The Little Book of Hygge'[Link to Book].As I thumbed through the book, learning ways to increase the coziness of my tomb-like apartment, I became fascinated with the concept of hygge. Hygge is the Danish word for a quality of coziness (feeling warm, comfortable, and safe) that comes from doing simple things such as lighting candles, baking, or spending time at home with your family, with friends, or with yourself. Unknowingly, I've always tried to practice hygge but was fascinated that this concept seemed to be a hallmark of Danish society. And when I finally got to experience for it myself, I could see that it function through every area of Danish life - family, politics, work, and home :
Danes value kindness - not be confused with niceness, practiced by Americans
Most Danes are pretty strict on working hours (8-4, 9-5) & leave work at 2 on Fridays for happy hours. But they care to spend time with friends and family above all.
5 Weeks PTO/ 1 year Parental Leave/ 2 Years of Unemployment (Screams in American)
Full Healthcare/Education Coverage (Screams in American). Students even get money from the government for going to school (You know where this is goin)
As a result of this trip, I texted at least 4 people trying to convince them to move to Denmark with me during my disability leave. I can't describe what it's like to be roped in by the lack of an anxiety in a society actually organized in maximizing the well-being of its people. I think this country is good for me and also maybe bad for my ego. I will say navigating as a black woman here is actually a pleasant experience, and even feels better than being in New York in some ways. I'm also pretty convinced half of this country has a crush on me based on the following interactions :
A conversation with a Danish waitress who told me when I come back, she wants to see me. Naturally, I texted my most knowledgeable bisexual friend to help me discern - Was this gay or female friendliness? Results were inconclusive.
The man at the Scandanavian Air check-in line
A small Danish man named Hans (this is confirmed)
A autistic 50 year old Danish man named Tom (There's a running joke in my friend group about how often I attract autistic white men, in like whatever setting I am, they'll find me. For what reason, I'm not sure. ) But Tom seemed to enjoy coming very close to my ear, during this big group meetup, to tell me about how he liked taking watches apart and putting them back together. He also lives in a one-bedroom with his mother with no plumbing or electricity.
But these interactions (even including mine with Tom?) are hygge. While so much of this trip was positive, I will say the one annoyance sprung from this conversation I overheard in a brewery about racism that rubbed me the wrong way. Here's the Insta story abbreviated version Part 1 & Part 2. Not included is the fact that in this moment, I actually emerged from the back of the bar and slid my glass between the Brit and the Dane, before delivering this monologue. I will never beat the allegations that I live in a movie. In summary, don't think you're not perpetuating racism , especially toward black women, if you're a white liberal. Misogynoir is a global phenomena. More on this in a future post. But my Hygge tour guide would also say this is hygge because I was in the right place at the right time with the "right" group of people to speak up about this.
But all in all, Copenhagen was a dream, not in magical or fantastical way. But a simple one, where you're safe and comfortable and surrounded with goodness in the form of very good food, cozy coffee shops, cute stores, and kind, genuine people. Perhaps that's my dream.
But alas, if you find yourself wanting to go to Copenhagen, here's some Tab-Hygge certified places and things (scroll through via the arrow).
Freetown Christiana (link), an intentional community commune in Copenhagen and visit this wonderful jewelry vendor (creol.dk)
Christiana Bryghus (link)- a hemp -beer brewery in Freetown Christiana (The site of me as a young Rosa)
Ø12 Coffee And Eatery (link) for the best eggs benedict I've ever had and very good tea.
Gasoline Grille (link) (critically acclaimed burgers) at the Broens Streetfood Market
Sticks N Sushi (link) - you will be poor but will be well-fed after eating here. Taste and quality of food here is impeccable despite resulting in a $65 for lunch
Christianshavns Faergecafe (link) - Great Danish food. Waitstaff here is lovely.
Would skip Fredriksborg Castle. I felt spirits, but would recommend Rosenburg Castle (link) and the beautiful gardens around it. You may even see what I find to be a very unserious army.
Must get a Danish hotdog at any hotdog stand with everything on it and an open -Faced Sandwich. I recommend Hallernes Smørrebrød (link) is my recommendation.
Cafes - Love a country that has the same appreciation for coffeeshops as I do - Next Door Cafe (link) Bagt (link)
Soul Books (link) - a Woo Woo Bookstore selling books you'd find on my bookshelf
Denmark has a very special place in my heart and reminded me what my life unencumbered used to feel like. Perhaps, travel has become a coping mechanism to escape American individualism, unchecked capitalism, and social inequality. Caught up in the hygge, I forgot about life in the U.S. entirely. It's ghetto there and I'd much prefer the kindness and comfort of Denmark any day.
Tek (Thanks) As always, wishing you many good things and a feeling of hygge.
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