A Promising Young Woman & A Mythology of False Accusations & Male Redemption

"That the niceness they parade publicly is directly juxtaposed to the inward cruelty and harmfulness they feel comfortable only to express in cover of private spaces behind closed doors."

Musings on nice guys and the women who falsely accuse them. As always, the title is a polemic, but a few weeks ago, I'd stumbled upon some clips from the criminally underrated Promising Young Woman, which prompted an interesting conversation around the narratives around sexual assault accusations and stories.

The film follows Cassie Thomas played by Carrie Mulligan, on a quest to avenge her late friend, Nina Fisher, who was raped at medical school and, it is suggested, took her own life as a result. Along the way, she seeks out all of those who she believes are responsible including the dean of the school, the lawyer hired to intimidate her to drop her case, a mutual friend of theirs who witnessed what had happened, and of course the alleged rapist. The film as a the movie does an incredible job of deconstructing rape culture from the institutional and individual lens. And in doing so, helps us as the viewer to break down some of our own conceptions, particularly those around the "nice guy".

It's expert casting of actors who we've already come to know as charming, kind, nice guys, weaponizes our own preconcieved notions of problematic offenders and enablers. We've got Bo Burham, every 2009 girls Internet Boyfriend, playing the lovable and goofy Ryan. Max Greenfield, most known for his loveable and slightly neurotic Schmitt from New Girl (my personal favorite character). And as our alleged perp, we've got Chris Lowell who was famous for his role as the thoughtful and genuine Piz in Varonica Mars. Even the casting of Alison Brie, best known for her portrayal of the innocent, sweet Annie in Community (my favorite character, after Abhed), serves to show us how other women hold up the patriarchy and protect problematic (to say the least) men. And in doing so , the film upends our own assertions, showing us how anyone, even the people we typically assume to be "nice" can be a predator or at the very least problematic.

And while it's easy to say these "nice guys" are able to "get away with it" because of misogyny and our own beliefs about women and their credibility. But in questioning why their narrative is impactful, it's interesting to look at the way this film frames the the accusation of the alleged assault. But in looking at how the characters are able to undermine Nina's story, this idea of the "myth of the allegation" came to mind. It's almost as if Nina's account or allegation is a myth, juxtaposed to what her , then peers, have to say about the incident. It is almost to say that the audacity of this allegation is so high that it must be fiction. And not only fiction, but urban legend, myth. By offering up a "more logical" narrative to support the event, they are able to explain away why promising young men would engage with Nina in any sort of sexual manner, making the allegation of rape scoffable and unimaginable at best. It would be pure lunacy and fantasy to think that men like the ones in the film would be capable of such a horrific act against a woman. And yet, it's the truth.

As Nina is no longer alive to tell her story, she in and of herself functions as a mythical creature, the "alleged" "mythical" victim. And almost in this way is her being dead, further a way for the people who've aided and abetted her sexual assault, in being able to minimize and further ignore the very reality that exists. Even her very real mental health crisis which culminates in her actual suicide is not enough to break them out of the idea that this is a myth. It's as if it's almost plausible that she'd moved to such a dramatic and grave action because of "a lie". The implied idea here is that that she is so crazy that she made all of this up and killed herself. The idea is that , Nina despite being a brilliant medical student , is unable to assign a proper term and descriptor to what's been done to her. And even with surgical levels of examination, something victims of abuse and assault often utilize in order to analyze the situations, Nina's assessment still must not be correct. It isn't rape ! She must be confused! She's using the wrong word. Again, in the minds of the perpetrator and his enables, we are creating a myth that women in emotional states are unable to properly assess the harm that has been done to them and assign the proper term to describe it. And all of that, all of the logical hoops that they jump through in order to not believe her or deny her story, all seem more plausible than the idea that a nice guy is capable of committing unspeakable harm to a woman.

And with this as the context surrounding our main character, she is hellbent and on a mission to hold up a mirror to the nice guys around her, letting them know that they in fact are not so nice. She is showing us that the public face of niceness, is distinct from the disposition of actual kindness, which requires integrity in action, unwillingness to do even slight harm. She is showing these men that the niceness they parade publicly is directly juxtaposed to the inward cruelty and harmfulness they feel comfortable expressing only in the privacy of closed doors. She puts on the drunk girl shtick and watches how one by one the men put on their respective hero cape, publicly running to rescue her and offer her some route to safety. All the while, their intentions are more nefarious, revealing to us as the viewer their own eagerness to take advantage of the young women who's been temporarily entrusted to their care. And when Cassie sobers up , it brings this horrific juxtaposition to light. She only exposes these men to themselves. And that it what sets them off. They crumble when they have to face themselves and what their actions imply about the type of men they really are. When presented with the dissonance between the character they portray versus the reality of their own actions/motivations, they are livid, but now with themselves, with Cassie. Instead of taking accountability for their own harmfulness, they turn their anger on the woman who has simply held a mirror up to their own wrongdoings.

Almost all of the men in this film all follow suit, when Cassie reveals to them one by one their complicity with Nina's assault and subsequent suicide, they all respond in anger towards her, reluctant and defiantly refusing accountability for what they've done. This is perhaps the worst and most-gut wrenching when it is revealed that the loveable heartthrob who'd stolen our hearts singing to the Stars are Blind in the market aisles, was present when Nina was being assaulted. He begins apologizing profusely to Cassie, but when she refuses to accept his apology, he immediately flips into self-preservation mode, now trying to protect the reputation he has built up. He, like most of the men, in the film are in a battle against their true character and the reputations they have built publicly. What would happen if people had found out the guy they've come to see as this gentle successful doctor, was a monster and had enabled harm of a promising young woman?

When Cassie confronts Al at his Bachelor Party, this all comes to an apex. He is so worried about the truth coming out and destroying his reputation that he is driven to murder Cassie. And in perhaps once of the most underrated moments of this film is the fact that after discovering that his friend has literally committed murder , Joe rushes to his side to comfort him. It is a pointed commentary on how we often enable guys who we consider to be "nice guys", how they often make us go against our own morals and beliefs in order to coddle them and defend them despite their wrongdoings. Thinking of the set up this scene, Cassie enters Al's bachelor party. His life is plentiful. He has friends, a partners, all of whom have either enabled them or their imagery of themselves as a nice guy. And here instead of holding him accountable for the harm he has now caused to 2 women,(again this is a man who has now allegedly committed sexual assault and has now committed murder) , this man is being held like a baby and being told that these things, which he did, are somehow not his fault.

And here is perhaps one of the most reductive and disgusting myth that nice guys and enablers alike will perpetuate to themselves - that the harm they caused was not even their fault, but the fault of their victims. This is a new aged way of saying "she was asking for it" instead here rephrased here as "she made me do it". And this wildly illogical myth, again is easier to swallow because it allows abusers alike to be able to find a way to escape accountability by finding fault in their victims. They bend over backwards to create new myths that will allow them escape their reality and blame their victims for the harm they've caused them. In our popular zeitgeist ,we often here this as "She was crazy. She was slutty. She was drunk. She was dressed in xyz fashion". And the people who say these kinds of things, often search one employ any tactic to avoid blaming their own cruel and destructive natures. The woman could be Mother Theresa and they'd create myths to justify their harm and assign blame anywhere else but to themselves.

While we as women witness a bittersweet end, Cassie murdered, but having succeeded in having her death signify justice and public acknowledgment of what happened to her and Cassie. I want to acknowledge that the only man who acknowledges the harm that has come to Nina is Al's lawyer Jordan. He spends his years after her death riddled with depression and guilt knowing that he has been complicit in silencing women who have come forward about their assaults. He knows in part, he is responsible for Cassie's suicide because he's been complicit in the intimidation and smear campaigns that add further injury to the assaults. But upon meeting Cassie, his remorse is genuine and authentic. She is moved to forgive him, but Jordan goes beyond acceptance of her words. His redemption arc comes him making amends to both Cassie and Nina, by now helping them secure justice after their deaths. By giving the Cassie's files to the police, he sets off the events that lead to Joe and Al's arrests.

And perhaps, in this way the director is telling us, that despite all the bad man out there, there is a path of redemption for some men. Yet, the conditions here are clear. It's not by getting a new house, or partners or successful careers, parading around as good guys without true acknowledgment of what they've done, like Al or Joe or Ryan. Redemption comes for those who are willing and able to face themselves, own up to the harm they've done, and dismantle the internal myths that keep them from taking accountability for their harm against women.

And perhaps on a wider scale, this movie much like Cassie asks us to look at ourselves, bringing the mirror to our own selves. Where do we really fall? Do we believe women or only in particular circumstances? Do we give in to the myths spread by patriarchy or nice guys in order to coddle them and avoid our own discomfort with what they've done? Do we search for excuses to justify why women should be harmed? Are we enablers or perpetrators? Are we Cassie? Are we Joe? Are we Al? Are we Ryan? When I first watched, I thought I knew who I was, but I think since I've watched I've come to terms with who I am in this film now.

Who are you?

Keeping Tabs