Keep in Touch
Scrolling through new follower notifications on my newly created Instagram page, I thought: Where the hell did all these people come from? Glancing at all the familiar faces and usernames, I saw best friends, acquaintances, a few future husbands, and a few people with whom my relationships could only be described as "a very loose association" (meaning I think we went to middle school together). Some of these people have seen me cry. Some of the people probably don't know how to spell my name, which unfortunately is quite often spelled TabAtha, but I digress. Some of these people have seen me at my worst. Some of these people haven't seen me at my best (which is arguably at any period in my life after puberty).
But now, here we are: Facebook friends and mutual followers on Instagram who've "reconnected" via social media. I know what they ate for breakfast. They know what lipstick I'm wearing today. I know Anne's mom dyed her hair and that auburn is not her color. Margie knows that I ate 6 slices of pizza, with no regard for a future of high cholesterol. We're so close to each other's daily lives, yet never really a part of it. As I look at my social media relationships, I see that time has turned old friends into new followers, deep conversations into likes and comments on a post, and literal fits of laughter into figurative LOLs, typed as a person quietly looks into a screen.
I often read posts saying how our generation has lost its ability to connect with each other. In the words of my friend Stefany, "We, in a world of Ichat, Iphone, Ipad, have lost sight of each other". Stef has a point. But, to be honest, I find comfort in knowing I can go onto person X's page and see that they're doing okay, or at least appearing okay. I find comfort in being able to post an inside joke with old friends from high school and exchange witty repertoire, even if that's the only conversation we have all year. And I LOVE posting some thought-provoking article and sparking up conversations and debates with the people that fall under my "loosely associated with" category.
But, on the other hand, some times I just miss being around these people. I miss the days when I could tell you exactly how they were doing. But instead of saying, hey, I miss you, I admit it. I take the easy route and just sheepishly like a profile picture. We're still cool. We're still connected...sort of. Now granted, life happens and people drift apart. Naturally, time and distance will separate us. But with social media, time and distance can't really be an obstacle or an excuse anymore. We never really have to lose touch with anyone. I look at the people on my followers list and although I may not be close to everyone, these platforms give me a chance express my love in little ways. I can always congratulate them on the new job, new haircut, or new significant other. No matter where they go or I go, they're always just one message away.
But, I'm challenging myself and you to do more than keep up. Keep in touch. Don't let the relationships you care about become reduced to a series of short exchanges on social media. Go one extra step. Start a conversation. Let that curiosity about the people around you steer you away from their profile and slide you into their DMs with a smooth "Hey it's been a while. How've you been? ". Let these people know that you're thinking of them and who knows maybe they're thinking of you too.
Tab